Can someone tell me how to spell “sorry”?

To the surprise of no one, the Patrick Kane cabbie case has ended with a plea deal. Call it a slapshot on the wrist.

Today the hockey star and his cousin pleaded guilty to a non-criminal charge of disorderly conduct. They were both ordered to send a written apology to the cab driver who accused them of roughing him up in a dispute over 20 cents a few weeks ago. An apology note. What’s the matter, couldn’t he have been ordered to write “I will not beat up men old enough to be my grandfather” 100 times on a blackboard?

I do hope it’s more sincere than his non-apology apology after he was arrested.

Before you think he got off light, he does also have to pay $125 in court fees. His legal fees to his high-priced lawyer, Paul Cambria, are sure to be more in line with Kane’s $875,000 salary.

Kane says it’s time to put this behind him….and since there are no criminal charges, the case probably won’t keep him off the Olympic hockey team. But I can’t wait to see how fans in places like Philadelphia treat him this season. I think they’ll be a little tougher on him than the legal system.

As for people here in his hometown, Skunkposter Christie Weber got the street beat.

Hey, I just thought of something…..since hockey players are more familiar with crosscheck than spellcheck, if there are any mistakes in the note does that mean the deal’s off?

We're sorry but we have to indict you

So how sorry is Patrick Kane today? You may recall, earlier this week the hockey star from South Buffalo issued a very nice non-apology apology after he and his cousin were arrested for allegedly roughing up a 62 year old cabbie over 20 cents.

Today the Kanes were indicted by an Erie County grand jury. But only on misdemeanor charges…not a felony robbery charge. So I suppose he doesn’t have to be too sorry. Besides, all signs point toward a plea deal….the odds of Kane actually being convicted and going to jail are about the same as the odds of Max Afinogenov getting TO’s key to the city.

According to the district attorney, the fact that Kane is a celebrity has nothing to do with the possibility of a plea deal. Yeah, right. Just like the fact that he can afford high-priced, high-profile attorney Paul Cambria has nothing to do with it.

However the case turns out, Kane has already lost out in the court of public opinion. For that, we are sure he’s sorry.

A sorry apology

Have you noticed how when professional athletes get arrested they apologize without really apologizing? Buffalo’s Patrick Kane is the latest example.

Today the Chicago Blackhawks star commented for the first time about his arrest last week here in Buffalo. You remember that one….the 20 year old and his cousin were arrested for allegedly roughing up a 62 year old cabbie over 20 cents.

Kane says because the legal proceedings are pending he can’t discuss the details of the incident. But he says he put himself “in the wrong position at the wrong time” and caused a lot of pain for his family, his hometown, and hockey fans….and for that he says “I sincerely apologize”.

In other words, he’s sorry he got arrested. He’ll be sorrier if a grand jury decides to indict him….we should find that out this week. He’ll be even sorrier if this keeps him from playing on the US Olympic team.

In addition to his non-apology apology, Kane also said “Now it’s time for me to move forward”. That would be a good idea, but unfortunately it’s not up to him…and for that, he probably is very sorry.

5 minutes for stupidity

It’s the same old story. Local boy makes good, becomes sports star, makes lots of money, returns to hometown, gets in fight with cab driver over 20 cents, and gets arrested.

Okay so it’s not quite the same old story….but it’s a good one. When South Buffalo’s Patrick Kane became the number one pick in the NHL draft two years ago, we knew he’d make lots of headlines. We just didn’t expect one of them to be on a police blotter.

We’re not always surprised when a professional athlete gets arrested. Some of them are scuzbags, and when they get busted we get all high and mighty and say “I knew that was coming.” But this one was about as surprising as learning that Marshawn Lynch was teaching a safe driving course.

According to police, Kane and a cousin got a cab on Chippewa Street (naturally, that’s where athletes go to get stupid) and when the cabbie dropped them off, they punched him because when he told them he didn’t have 20 cents in change for them. 20 CENTS.

Kane actually spent a couple hours in jail before his arraignment. JAIL. That’s a lot different than the penalty box.

Look, hockey players are supposed to fight. But on the ice. And with other hockey players. Not with some cabbie who’s old enough to be his grandfather.

In case you’re wondering, Kane made $875,000 last year….so 20 cents is…..okay, you figure out the percentage yourself…but it’s really really really small. And this incident was really really really stupid.