Who burned the popcorn?

Damn you, Forbes Magazine. You get us all excited with your list that has Buffalo as one of the top cities for singles….and then we find out you’re also trashing our most famous single person.

It seems earlier this week Forbes came out with a list of the 10 most disliked people in sports, and Terrell Owens is number four….following only Michael Vick, Manny Ramirez, and Alex Rodriguez. Forbes calls him an “attention-seeking diva”.

How dare they? Don’t they know how beloved he is? Don’t they know all the prima donna stuff is just an act? Don’t they know everything that happened in every other city was blown out of proportion and not his fault? Don’t they watch his show?

But I’m just as angry at our local media. Where’s the outrage? Why hasn’t anyone blown this out of proportion? Why haven’t they asked Forbes the tough questions?

This stinks!

Buffalo: a great place to get your skunk on

You know that creep hitting on all the chicks on Chippewa? He might be getting lucky more than you think.

Forbes Magazine has come out with its annual list of the country’s best cities for singles. And Buffalo is number 18. Way to go! We’re ahead of places like Las Vegas, Orlando, Houston, and even Miami.

Those of you who score about as often as the Bills might be wondering how Forbes came up with the ranking. They looked at things like coolness, culture, nightlife, and how many single people there are compared to the entire population. It turns out we’re third in culture, fifth in nightlife, and seventh in singles. We’re only 21st in coolness, but that’s okay….we know how cool we are.

Now we need a good marketing campaign. How about “Buffalo: your place or mine?"

Tackling the Vick issue

I’m going to be serious for a change. Well, mostly serious. I am soooo disappointed in the Buffalo Bills. They are totally depriving us of the chance to debate whether they should sign Michael Vick.

According to General Manager Russ Brandon, the Bills aren’t interested in Vick…..at least “at this time”. At least that qualifier might leave the door open for some debate.

I know this may get me booted out of PETA, but I personally have no problem with the Bills or any other team signing Vick. And I think a lot of fans who say they have a problem with it are two-faced twits. (tweet that!)

Is Michael Vick an evil despicable human being? Who knows. We do know he did a despicable thing, got caught, and went to jail. But he served his time. Now the commissioner has opened the door for him to play again, and I think he should get a chance.

There are other players who went to jail and then went back to the NFL. One player killed someone while driving drunk….he served a lot less time in jail than Vick, was suspended half a season, and has been playing ever since. HE KILLED A PERSON!

Of all people, Terrell Owens is making sense on this topic. Buffalo’s biggest mouth said he wouldn’t mind having Vick as a teammate. (Of course he also compared Vick’s treatment by the league to “kicking a dead horse into the ground”….not the best analogy to use in this case. But let’s get back to the point)

Should an NFL team sign Vick? Absolutely. Will there be protests? You betcha. Big deal. Do you honestly think fans will cancel their season tickets? Fans are fans. We want our team to win. If Michael Vick could help the Bills win the Super Bowl, he’d get T.O.’s key to the city.

This is a business decision….pure and simple. Yes, there’s an emotional aspect….but it’s business. The team that needs Michael Vick will sign him. Period. And I don’t have a problem with that.

It was the condom that put her over the top

I love reading the police blotter in the local newspapers. It makes me feel really superior.

Like this one from the Tonawanda News. A woman who just bailed her child’s father out of jail managed to get herself arrested. But can you blame her? It seems she found a condom and a woman’s shirt in the back seat of his car. So she did the logical thing and took a swing at the guy. Just one problem….police say she missed him, but hit the baby instead. She’s charged with endangering the welfare of a child.

Would it be really mean of me to say there’s trash, and then there’s trash.

OMG, I crashed!

Cellphone for talking: Check. Cellphone for texting: Check. Hand on steering wheel: Oops.

If a tow truck ends up in a swimming pool, there can be a good reason. Maybe a tornado, or an earthquake. The driver could have a heart attack at the wheel. All perfectly understandable. On the other hand, there’s what went down on Tonawanda Creek Road yesterday.

Niagara County Sheriff’s deputies say the driver of a tow truck was apparently talking on one cell phone and texting on another. (which makes it a little tough to PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!) So the truck hit a car, crashed through a fence, hit a house, and plunged into an in-ground pool. Oh yeah, one of the cars being towed also slammed into the house.

Quick note from the department of irony. As you may notice from the post directly beneath this one, just yesterday we were discussing the dangers of texting while driving. Apparently that story needed proof.

But back to this story. The two people in the car, which was stopped waiting to make a turn, were injured in the crash. The truck driver faces a whole bunch of charges. And it took a long time to clean up the mess…..because when you have to tow a tow truck out of a swimming pool, you have to find a bigger tow truck.

U R in trbl

Put your thumbs back on the wheel. At least if Chuck “if there’s a TV camera I’m in front of it” Schumer has his way.

The New York Senator/media hog is one of several senators who are proposing national legislation to ban texting while driving. It’s already illegal in 14 states, and it could soon be banned in several others, including New York. But leave it to our legislature to screw it up.

If the governor signs the bill they passed, it will be illegal to send text messages while driving. You can get a ticket for it. BUT THE COPS CAN’T PULL YOU OVER. Confused? Obviously so are our state lawmakers. Here’s the deal. Their bill calls for “secondary enforcement” of texting. That means even if the cops see you texting while driving, they can only give you a ticket if they pull you over for something else. Like say you’re so distracted you’ve run over six people. Then they could stop you.

I know what you’re thinking. Won’t that be hard to enforce? If they really thought it was dangerous and should be banned, shouldn’t they let police stop you if they see you doing it? Don’t forget, this is the New York State Legislature. LMFAO.

Dude, hide the weed!

I don’t want you to think I’m encouraging drug use…but you know, if you’re gonna drive around with weed in your car, there are a few things to avoid. Like leaving a bag of it out in plain view on the seat, just in case a cop pulls you over. And don’t do anything that will get you pulled over. Especially at 3:50 in the morning. Cops tend to be a little more suspicious that time of day.

Good advice, but too late for the guy who was busted by Town of Tonawanda police Monday morning. Police say when they pulled him over for having a cracked windshield, they spotted a bag of pot right there on the back seat.

Too bad it wasn’t crack….the irony of that would be too much, even for me.

Welcome to the neighborhood. NOT!

I guess we should look at the positive. The state division of parole has moved a convicted sex offender out of a boarding house that’s less than 1,500 feet from a Niagara Falls elementary school. Problem solved. Threat to children eliminated. On the other hand, WHAT BOZO PUT HIM THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE????

But wait, there’s more. According to the state, the guy….who served seven years behind bars for having sex with girls under the age of 14…..is LIKELY TO COMMIT ANOTHER SEX CRIME because he has a “mental abnormality”. As far as I’m concerned, so does the person who made the decision on where to put him. It’s called stupidity.

And get this….there are other sex offenders STILL LIVING IN THAT BOARDING HOUSE. But the state is trying to find them other places to live….preferably not near a school….but we are talking about bureaucracy, so you never know….they could end up across the street from an amusement park.

Oh and by the way….the guy they did move….he went from the Falls to North Tonawanda. Which is where he used to live, and where most of his sex crimes took place. Welcome home.

Niagara Falls no longer Number One in Number Two

It’s nice to report some good news for a change. Especially when it’s a smelly subject like sewage. Lots and lots of sewage.

The folks in Niagara Falls Canada have been hanging their heads and holding their noses, because they were at the top of the list of Ontario communities dumping the most raw or partially treated sewage into the environment.

But they aren’t the worst. The report was wrong. A decimal point was in the wrong place. Yep, someone did a crappy job of proofreading. A number that was supposed to be 6.5 million was listed as 6.5 billion. With a B. Oops.

When the report came out last month, local officials smelled a rat. They knew the report stunk….and after weeks of pouring over their records, they got the point.

So folks in the falls can flush those toilets without fear. And that’s the latest poop.

OJ: “I’m living in fear” The world: “Okay”

Sometimes you just have to stop and appreciate the irony. It seems OJ Simpson is afraid his cellmate is going to kill him.

The Juice, who is no longer loose, is serving at least 15 years in a Nevada prison for armed robbery. According to the National Enquirer, Simpson has told friends his cellmate told him he’s going to strangle Simpson while he’s sleeping. And let’s face it, if it’s in the Enquirer it must be true.

Why would anyone want to kill OJ? Again….this is according to the Enquirer, so we have to believe it….Simpson says the cellmate is in the slammer for rape & murder, and he hates OJ for getting away with murder.

Of course the real irony would be if the cellmate is the real killer of Ron & Nicole, and OJ found him after all.

Thanks but no tanks

I know, I’m just a skunk. I’m no politician (although a lot of them stink worse than me) and I’m no expert on national security. But I can’t help but wonder, IS DICK CHENEY CRAZY?????

Image via Internet

We just found out that the former Vice President wanted to send US troops into Lackawanna. Granted, there are parts of the Steel City that look like a battle ground….but sending US troops into a US city? Really?

Apparently this all happened when the government was getting ready to arrest the Lackawanna Six. You remember them….our local terror cell. They’re such high-level terrorists one of them is already out of jail. But Cowboy Cheney wanted to send US troops to arrest them, and declare them enemy combatants….which would have meant a military tribunal instead of a federal court trial. Fortunately President Bush put the kibosh on the idea.

Can you imagine that discussion in the Oval Office. Cheney would be like “It’s the war on terror! Send in the troops! Can I ride in a tank?” And Bush would be like “Chill out, dude. Have a beer”.

Anyway, the FBI made the arrests. No incidents. No troop invasion. Nothing to see here.

You have the right to remain stupid

We keep hearing that today’s teens are lazy, they don’t have any initiative, and all they do is play video games & text their friends. Maybe that’s true of many…but not one Buffalo teenager. You gotta admire his initiative. Unfortunately, it got him arrested.

That’s because he was impersonating a cop. But he was doing it in a damn clever way. The 16 year old was driving a Ford Crown Victoria that was a dead ringer for an unmarked police car. Plus, it was lit up like a Christmas tree….when he activated the emergency lights (all 30 of them!) and his illegal siren, he had no trouble getting drivers to pull over near Canal Fest in the City of Tonawanda.

Obviously the kid is not a cop. It gets better…he’s not even a licensed driver. He just has a learner’s permit. (and it may now be a while before he actually does get a license)

When he was busted by a real cop, siren boy told the officer he was a member of the Kenilworth Fire Department. That’s not true either….but he did recently file an application to join the force. Somehow we don’t think that’s gonna happen.

Cereal Killers!

So Terrell Owens has his own cereal. Great, coming soon, to a Tops near you.

When I found out about this, it really frosted my flakes. Does T.O. really deserve to be on a cereal box? He has a key to the city, he has his own reality show...come on, share the spotlight.

Maybe I should have my own cereal. Something like this:


Or this:

How about that...I have good taste and I taste good!

Welcome to my blog

Welcome to the land of snarkdom. I’m Snarky, the world’s most opinionated skunk. (of course I may be the world’s ONLY opinionated skunk) Why am I called Snarky? It’s not just my name, it’s my way of life.
I know, a lot of people think being snarky is a bad thing. The definition is snide and sarcastic. I say those are good things. Just look at the really snarky people out there. Jon Stewart is snarky. In fact, he’s in the snarky hall of fame. Neil Patrick Harris is snarky, but Simon Cowell is just snotty. David Letterman is still kind of snarky in a grumpy old man kind of way. Oprah is the anti snark.
You might agree with my opinions. You might disagree. You might think I’m an idiot. Sometimes I think I’m an idiot. But more often, I think there are a lot of bigger idiots out there. Dumb people. Really dumb people. Politicians, sports stars, celebrities, or just plain common idiotic people. I’m going to write about them. Stop back and see what I have to say. Tell me what you think. Even if you disagree with me.